"City Bus Field Trip" transcript
Scene 1: Outside PS 118 School 118 School Bell Ringing Principal Wartz: "Double transport 1, we're ready to lock and load, city bus field trip is a go, let's move out!" All PS 118 Students: "1, 2, 3, 4, 1, 2, 3, 4!" Miss Swanson: "Back 'em up, back 'em up, let's go, wheel jockeys." Gerald: "Mmm, mmm, mmm, there's nothing like a real good field trip." Arnold: "Yep, nothing in the universe, Museum of Craziness, here we come." Eugene: "The Museum of Craziness? what's the Museum of Craziness?" Phoebe: "The Museum of Craziness, Eugene, a museum of comedy, laughter and all sorts of things." Helga: "My sister, Olga told me that they got a blue lobster that says too much of everything, can't be much sophisticated than that." Sid: "I heard they got a real super awesome corn maze that you try to escape from." Rhonda: "A corn maze? oh please, the best thing there, is the gift shop, they've got accessories from around the universe." Lila: "And an extra credit card." Helga: "What the heck? oh, that's nothing." PS 118 5th Grade Students Laughing And Protesting Arnold, Gerald and the others get on Old Speedy, the city bus. Arnold: "Man, this is gonna be the best field trip in our entire lives." Cut to Stanley, the city bus driver...... Stanley: "Goodbye, headlights, farewell, horn, here's looking at you, rearview mirror Up you always smiled back at me." Mr. Simmons: "Stanley, what's going on?" Stanley: Up "They're-They're.....retiring Old Speedy." Mr. Simmons: "The mouse with a Spanish accent?" Stanley: Up "No, the city bus, tomorrow morning, right after 37 years of unblemished service, they're hauling him to the junk yard, chopping him into pieces then molding him into soda cans, napkin rings, toaster ovens and.....microwaves!" Stanley: Wildly Mr. Simmons: "Stanley, I'm beginning to feel your pain, but you need to get ahold of yourself, we've all got a place to go, and right now, you're job is to drive all of us to the Museum of Craziness." Stanley: "You're right, Robert, those kids are counting on me, must be strong, must be brave, must maintain." Cut to Principal Wartz and Curly....... Principal Wartz: "I sure do like the smell of diesel fuel in the morning time." Curly: "Ready to roll, Principal Wartz, sir!" Principal Wartz: "Good, now get on the city bus, Curly." Principal Wartz: "All of these days of mapping routes, scheduling city buses, filling out forms, it was all worth it." Principal Wartz gets on the other city bus. Principal Wartz: "Take them to the Museum of Craziness, George." George: "Yahoo!" Henrietta: "Yes!" All PS 118 5th Grade Students: "Yeah, field trip, field trip, field trip!" Mr. Simmons: "And what's a field trip without a real good song, everybody?" Mr. Simmons: 99 bottles of yahoo soda on the wall, 99 bottles of yahoo soda All PS 118 5th Grade Students: take 1 down, pass it around, 99 bottles of yahoo soda on the wall Mr. Simmons and PS 118 5th Grade Students: 99 bottles of yahoo on the wall, 99 bottles of yahoo, take 1 down pass it around, 99 bottles of yahoo soda on the wall Helga: "Crimeny, if I ever sing that crazy annoying song 1 more time, I'm gonna use my drum sticks on somebody's head." Arnold: "Oh come on, Helga, don't lose it yet, we're probably getting real close by now, right, Phoebe?" Phoebe: "Well, observing the position of the sunlight, given that x is the velocity and-" Helga: "Well how much longer already?!?" Phoebe: "We should be right up to the Museum of Craziness just about now." Blast! Screeching Blast! Iggy: "Oh no!" Sid: "What on earth happened?" Stanley: "Come on, buddy, don't pass away on me now." Principal Wartz: "Hey, what's going on around here? you're slowing down the entire operation." Stanley: "I don't know, Old Speedy's never failed me before." Principal Wartz: "Well get another city bus out here, we can't wait all day long!" Stanley: "Come on, Speedy, come on, pal." Mr. Simmons: "Don't worry about it, Principal Wartz, we've got it all under control." Mr. Simmons: (speaking into the city bus microphone) "Earth Mother, this is Big Daddy, we've got a cranky jack that just won't move, do you copy?" Female Voice On City Bus Radio: "We're gonna get a new kiddy crate as soon as possible." Mr. Simmons: "Much obliged Earth Mother, you rock on earth, catch you on the slap back." Mr. Simmons: A Bit "It's a little something that I picked up back in the 1970s." Mr. Simmons: "They're sending another city bus, we're gonna be alright." Principal Wartz: "Roger that, Robert, then we'll rendezvous at the beach head, my group, move out!" Eugene: "They're leaving without all of us." Gerald: "Oh man, it could be 27 minutes right before they send another city bus." PS 118 5th Grade Students Complaining Eugene: "What? but we're gonna miss half of the exhibits." Mr. Simmons: "Now, class, there's no reason for all of you to panic, you've heard the dispatcher, a new bus will be out here as soon as possible." Female Voice On City Bus Radio: "Big Daddy, this is Earth Mother, we've got terrible news, about some cranky jack, it's gonna take a lot longer than we thought it would." Mr. Simmons: "How long is longer, Earth Mother?" Female Voice On City Bus Radio: "Oh, just about 6 hours." All PS 118 5th Grade Students: "6 hours?" Mr. Simmons: "But, Earth Mother-" Female Voice On City Bus Radio: "Sorry, Big Daddy, but that's the skinny, catch you on the path." Gerald: "Oh man, this field trip is a total bust." Stanley: "Not if I can help it." Mr. Simmons: "What are you doing, Stanley?" Stanley: "Old Speedy has always been the best rig in the fleet, somehow, some other way, I'm gonna fix him." Stanley steps right off of Old Speedy. Stanley: "Alright, Speedy, this isn't the end, let's see what you've got." Stanley tries fixing Old Speedy..... Stanley: A Bit Cut back to the PS 118 5th grade students...... Harold: "We're never getting outta here, never!" Lorenzo: "Yeah right, 1st we'll run outta food and water, then we'll be forced to chew on the seats!" Mr. Simmons: "Now, students, please, there's no reason to panic." Blast! Sid: "I wanna get outta here!" Mr. Simmons: "Let's all find our centers." Eugene: "We're all gonna pass away!" PS 118 5th Grade Students Screaming in Fear Arnold: "Mr. Simmons, maybe you should let all of us off the city bus for a little while." Scene 2: An abandoned farm yard Mr. Simmons: "Alright, everybody, remember our agreement, whatever you do, stay in the field right next to the city bus." Gerald: "Where are we anyway? Mars? Jupiter? Saturn?" Phoebe: "It seems to be some sort of abandoned farm yard." Helga: "Great, just great, 1 minute we're on our way to see a blue lobster, next thing you know, we're slapping flies at the meadow." Stanley: Heavily Mr. Simmons: "Well, Stanley, how does it look." Stanley: "Not so good, Robert, this could be the end of Speedy, I-I think I need to be left alone." Stanley: Wildly Again Mr. Simmons: "Stanley, wait, come back!" Stinky: "Willikers, on account of Mr. Johnson sure is upset." Harold: "Of course he is, Stinky, he really likes that city bus." Helga: "Oh yeah? well I like going to the Museum of Craziness, but it doesn't look like any of us are getting what we want." Gerald: "You guys might as well face it, this is the worst field trip of our entire lives." PS 118 5th Grade Students Complaining Again Arnold: "That's it, you guys can sit around and mope all you want, but I'm gonna do something about it." Rhonda: "You? what can you do about it? you're just a young kid." Arnold: "Maybe I'm just a young kid, but I'm not a young kid who gives up, I'm gonna fix that city bus." Sid: "You're going insane, Arnold." Gerald: "Come on, Arnold, you can't work on a city bus, what would Mr. Simmons and Mr. Johnson say?" Stanley: Wildly In Distance Arnold: "Hey, what they don't know can't hurt them." Arnold goes off to fix Old Speedy. Phoebe: "You know, maybe he does have a point." Eugene: "Then let's do it!" Harold: "For Mr. Johnson!" All PS 118 5th Grade Students: "Yahoo!" Helga: "Oh brother." Helga goes off to join the other 5th grade students. Arnold: "Alright, let's see what we've got here." Arnold looks into the hood of Old Speedy. Arnold: "Looks like some sort of metal stuff, and some rubber stuff, and hey, look at this, some plastic stuff." Helga: "Step aside, amateurs." Gerald: "What are you doing, Helga?" Helga: "If you move over, I'm gonna try to figure out what's the matter with this thing." Eugene: "What do you know about engines, Helga?" Helga: "Are you kidding me? my mom worked at an auto repair shop downtown." Phoebe: "Maybe I can help as well, the intricacies of the engine are a passion of mine." Helga: "Oh yeah? then hand me a 3/2 inch." Phoebe: "Regular? or ratchet?" Helga: "Ooh, ratchet." Helga: "Alright, for beginners, we've got a cracked fly wheel in here, and we're not going anywhere without a new 1." Arnold: "A cracked fly wheel? what's that?" Phoebe: "This is a fly wheel." Arnold: "Alright, everybody, let's all split up and see if we can find 1 of these things." Sid: "Maybe there's 1 nearby." Helga: "The carburetor needs some work, so does the alternator, and-wow, check out the manifold on this baby!' Rhonda: "This is like, so disgusting and very disturbing." Lila: "Don't they have other people to do this job?" Eugene: "No fly wheel in here." Arnold: "We've gotta keep looking." Cut to Mr. Simmons and Stanley........... Stanley: "You don't understand, Robert, Old Speedy and me, we started out together as always, we're like brothers, brothers of the road." Creaking Gerald: "Hey, you guys, over here!" Arnold: "Wow, look at all of this stuff." Eugene: "There's gotta be something in here we can use." Harold pulls off the sheets to reveal a very old pipe organ. Eugene: "What's that?" Gerald: "It looks like some sort of primitive weapon." Harold: "It's a pipe organ, and look at that." Eugene: "That looks just like Helga's fly wheel, but will it fit?" Arnold: "Hey, close enough for disco rock music." Cut back to Mr. Simmons and Stanley again....... Stanley: "I'll never see his adorable odometer hit 905 k." Mr. Simmons: "Try to let go, be at heavenly peace." Stanley: "I'm trying, I really am trying." Phoebe: "The fly wheel in this old pipe organ will work just fine once we bend it a bit." Helga: "Yeah, of course, and I've got a real good idea on how to use the rest of this thing as well, hey, between me and Phoebe, this machine is gonna be ready to purr all day long." Arnold: "Good, now we need to figure out on how to fix those back wheels." Cut to Arnold and his good friends by the broken back wheels. Arnold: "It looks like the axle's broken right off." Gerald: "But where are we gonna find another 1, Arnold?" Harold: (pointing at 2 back wheels of a tractor) "Over there, look!" Cut back to Mr. Simmons and Stanley once again..... Mr. Simmons: "It's all in the letting out, that's it, say goodbye to your fears and concerns, goodbye, fears, goodbye, concerns." Cut back to Arnold and his good friends again....... Arnold: "Heave ho!" Arnold: "Alright, now all we need to do is get those back wheels off and-" Arnold: "What the heck?" Arnold walks right up to Rhonda and Lila, who are painting Old Speedy a dark blue color. Lila: "Well, Arnold, since you're fixing up this old city bus anyway, we can at least make it more presentable." Rhonda: "Even though whoever picked out this old paint had no color sense." Arnold: "Uh, just 1 single question: you got any cerulean?" They all get Old Speedy repaired good as new. Gerald: "Well, you guys, we finally did it." Helga: "Yeah, of course, it's a real beauty alright." Phoebe: "It's incredibly good looking." Arnold: "Well, almost perfect, but it seems like there's something missing, I'm not really sure what, but it's gotta be something." Lorenzo: "Hey, you guys, look what I just dug up?" Arnold sees a blue armchair. Arnold: "That just might do the trick." Cut back to Mr. Simmons and Stanley once again. Mr. Simmons: "Do you feel the depression rushing outta your body flowing right on to the ground?" Stanley: "No, just the source of blood rushing to my head." Stanley: "It's just no use, Robert, thanks for trying, but I might as well face it, nothing's gonna help me get over the departure of Old Speedy, I just need some time to grieve." Gerald: "Mr. Simmons? Stanley? there's something we'd like to show both of you." Stanley: "What now? Old Speedy burst into fire flames?" Helga: "No, it's something you're gonna like." Stanley: "At this point, there's absolutely nothing I'm gonna like, absolutely nothing." Cut back to Gerald leading everybody else to the now repaired and well designed Old Speedy. Gerald: "Alright, ready? set? open them!" Everybody else opens their eyes in amazement and surprise. Mr. Simmons: "Oh my goodness, that's......thrilling." Stanley: "Speedy? is that really you? you're-you're shiny and beautiful, how can I ever thank you kids enough?" Helga: "Well? how 'bout starting him up?" Cut to everybody else (except for Arnold) back on the now repaired and well designed Old Speedy. Roaring All PS 118 5th Grade Students: Wildly Stanley: "Well, it might be too late to get to the Museum of Craziness, but what do you say we take the very long way back home?" All PS 118 5th Grade Students: Wildly Again Screeching Loudly Stanley: "Big Daddy, this is the king bee, cancel that funeral ceremony, we've got us a kiddy kart that's cruising for South America." Male Voice On Speaker Phone: "Come again?" Stanley: "You can't wreck my good buddy now, he's a collector's item." Stanley: A Bit Cut back to Mr. Simmons giving everybody else golden star stickers. Mr. Simmons: "What creative and inspired work, all of you kids deserve golden star stickers." Gerald: "Well, we can't simply take all of the credit." Helga: "Yeah right, Arnold's the 1 who began all of it." Mr. Simmons: "Oh, really? that's very inspirational, and by the way, where is Arnold, anyway?" Cut back to Arnold sitting in the blue armchair that's right on top of Old Speedy. Arnold: "Yahoo, this is the greatest field trip of all times, yahoo!" Fade to a black screen....... Voice Cast Members End Production Credits *''Noah Schnaap as Arnold Shortman (voice)'' *''Jamil Walker Smith as Gerald Johansson (voice digitally mastered to a higher pitch by using sound audio)'' *''Francesca Smith as Helga Pataki and Sheena Jefferson (voices)'' *''Max Charles as Sid Patterson (voice)'' *''Alexander Garfin as Stinky Peterson (country western voice)'' *''Noah Johnston as Eugene Horowitz (voice)'' *''Dan Butler as Mr. Simmons (voice)'' *''David Wohl as Principal Wartz (voice)'' *''Anndi MacAfee as Phoebe Heyerdahl (voice)'' *''Dan Castellaneta as Grandpa Phil (voice)'' *''Tress MacNeille as Grandma Gertrude (voice)'' *''Olivia Hack as Rhonda Lloyd (voice)'' *''Ashley Buccile as Lila Sawyer (voice)'' *''Michael Hollick as Mr. Kokoshka (voice, replacing the late Steve Viksten respectively)'' *''Mary Scheer as Mrs. Kokoshka (voice)'' *''Dom Irera as Mr. Potts (voice)'' *''Kath Soucie as Curly (new boy kid voice)'' *''Baonan Coleman as Mr. Hyunh (voice)'' *''Craig Bartlett as Brainy and Miles Shortman (voices)'' *''Antoinette Stella as Stella Shortman (voice)'' *''Elizabeth Ashley as Mrs. Vitello (voice)'' Special Guest Voice Cast Members *''Danny Cooksey as Albert Lawson (voice)'' *''Connor Corum as Jeffrey Lawson (voice)'' *''Candi Milo as Kayla Jefferson (voice)'' *''Lane Styles as Melanie Jefferson (voice)'' Memorial Dedication Credits Dedicated to the loving memories of Richard Mulligan (1932-2000), Michael Jeter (1952-2003), Vincent Schiavelli (1948-2005), Lou Rawls (1933-2006), Tony Jay (1933-2006), Harvey Korman (1927-2008), Henry Gibson (1935-2009), Zelda Rubinstein (1933-2010), Phyllis Diller (1917-2012), Davy Jones (1945-2012) and Steve Viksten (1960-2014). Category:Season 6 Transcripts Category:Transcripts